Home Sweet Home...2009

We've been home in Chiang Mai for a week now, and things are going quite well. The trip was good - the kids slept most of the time, and Samantha made some friends in Taipei Airport, where she played for about 2 hours in the Hello Kitty playground. I LOVE airport play grounds!!! She was so worn out after playing on the slides etc that she slept for a few more hours on the Taipei-Bangkok leg. So much more than I hoped for...

So, we've been recovering from Jetlag very slowly. Timothy is now sick with a cold, so is a little more grumpy than usual. But as was pointed out to me today at church, it's hard to believe he's sick and 'grumpy' when he's giggling, smiling and charming everyone he meets!

The house is slowly coming back into order, although it's hard to keep such a tiny living room tidy with a plethora of toys and two active rug rats! We'd forgotten we had so many toys! Most days I just let nature take it's course and simply try to keep the main thoroughfares clear with the trusty 'toy plow'.

It's good to be home after a year 'State-side'. I have my own bed, my own pillow. My truck. My computer. my my my. me me me! Hmm, there's a theme emerging here. The only think missing from the perfect home life here at Sanborn Cottage in Chiang Mai is Rusty the Wonder Dog, who we gave away several months ago, when it became apparent that we would be gone longer than anticipated and no one was able to 'dog sit' for us. We miss him terribly, but we're glad he has a good home with lots of friends to take care of him.

The Journey Begins

We've spent the last couple of days trying to decide what to keep and what to leave and madly packing what little we can take with us back to Thailand. Whew. Finally done.

Now the Journey Begins. We fly to California in the morning, stay with Sean's uncle overnight. Then in the wee hours of Sunday morning we'll fly back to Thailand, arriving in Chiang Mai late on Monday.

I hope the kids sleep. I hope the kids don't have any meltdowns. I hope I don't have a meltdown. I hope. I hope.

Peek-a-Boo

Daybook December 15, 2009

outside my window... the sun is shining. the fog finally burned off around midday.

I'm thinking... about all the stuff I need to inventory and pack. Procrastination is a glorious thing. I sitting here wasting time when I should be taking advantage of Timothy's nap to get work done.

I'm thankful for... Doctor's who are able to look for answers outside the box. Uncovered an undiagnosed condition that's been effecting me adversely for years. And I'm looking forward to getting well again. Look out world, here I come.

I'm reading... children's books. Samantha and I sit down at least once a day and read together. Other than that, I am back to having no time for books.

I'm hearing... tick tock, tick tock... the clock is telling me it's time to stop procrastinating.

Around the house... well, upstairs is nice and tidy, but the basement is a mess of suitcases and clothes and books and toys and all sorts of goodies we're sorting through for our trip back to Thailand.

Favourite things... I like Christmas. And my MIL knows how to make a house feel Christmas-y. We're making memories for Samantha. I think that I like this season more and more now that I have Little Ones to share it with.

Plans for the Weekend... FLY TO THAILAND!!!!! Woo Hoo!

Snow Day

Saturday December 5, 2009

I descended the stairs in a fog, and began calculating, "How many times did Timothy wake up? What time did Samantha try to climb into our bed? Eeerrr. Urrgh. Coffee. I need coffee."

As I reached the last step, Samantha appeared and said, "My Mummy! I love you, Mummy!"

The day just got a little more bareable. I squatted down to give her a hug. Timothy giggled and patted her on the head.

Coffee Search!!

As I prepped breakfast for the fam, Sean gives me a big kiss. This day is getting better.

Then he announces, "It has begun."
"What?"
"The snow. It's snowing."

As I look out the window, a wave of excitement comes over me. "It's snowing, Samantha! Come look. It's snowing!" Doing the dance of joy. "It's Mummy's Christmas present from God." Samantha and I danced around the room as the snow fell outside. Sean looked on and laughed. He thinks I'm a little batty.

More calculations. How many times have I seen snow? I think this was the 6th or 7th time in my life. And to see it from start to finish - 12 hours of continuous snow fall, plus watching it disappear over the next 4 days was indeed magical.

We began to discuss our plans for the day. "Do you think we can still visit Karen today?" I asked.
"Sure, it should be okay. We're only expecting a couple of inches. It looks pretty light."
The snow got heavier and heavier over the next hour as we prepared, and I asked 3 more times if he was comfortable driving in the snow.

No problem. Let's go! so we loaded the kids in the car and set off.

Again, I was giddy with excitement, watching the snowfall and singing Christmas carols as we drove through a Winter Wonderland. I finally got to live the Christmas carols, if only for 2 or 3 days. Woo hoo!

The snow got heavier as we drove into the foothills of the, and the road was very icy. People drove like maniacs in the snow, with Semi-Trailers tailgaiting us and almost running us off the road. Just about everyone was speeding.

After an hour of driving, we were only half way to Karen's house. and Sean was done. We'd passed several spinouts and accidents and we realized it would take us another hour, and they might close the roads due to icy conditions. So we stopped at McDonald's for a coffee break and turned around.

Thankfully both the kids slept the whole trip. Not a peep from either of them.

Another magical moment for me was as we pulled into the community we were staying in. They had ornate lamp posts that I hadn't even noticed before the snow arrived. But with the back drop of snow, I started bouncing like a little kid with excitement. There's no logical explaination. Somehow that lamppost in the snow said, "Christmas" to me, and I loved it!! Yes, it looked like the Narnia Lamp.

When we got home, Samantha immediately ran out onto the back deck with me and we started playing in the snow. By now it was about 2 inches deep. Sean came out and we made a snow man together. Then, in the evening Sean and Samantha built another snow man in the front yard of our neighbour's house, then they all went sledding together. I couldn't join them, cause I didn't have snow clothes for the Little Man, so we stayed in the warmth of the house. It was hard to keep hat, gloves and coat on Samantha, and by the time snow play was done, she was down to her thermals and Daddy's wind cheater. Thankfully we had a nice warm fire to warm her toes and fingers by.

counting down...

19 days to go. We're on the home stretch. And for some crazy reason we decided that now would be a good time to take a trip to Virginia! Which will leave us about 5 days to pack up for the trip back to Thailand.

The other day I was telling Samantha that we were going on another trip in an airplane. She promptly began to sing the theme song to "Little Einsteins" (it's our take off song).
I said, "Mummy and Daddy and Samantha and Timothy will be going on the plane together back to Thailand".
She responded, "And Nana, too!"
"No, Nana's not coming to Thailand with us."
"NO! Nana has to come on the airplane with us! Nana's coming to Thailand, too! Yay!"

She has made up her mind, and everytime she talks about Thailand, she mentions Nana. Hmm. What can I do to manipulate Nana into coming, so that my little girls heart isn't broken? Anyone got a spare round trip ticket lying around?

I can't believe our year in the US is over. It seemed like it would last forever, but now I'm looking back and wondering where the time went. Oh yeah, I was incubating and taking care of a new baby, and didn't have much time or energy for anything else.

Daybook 11/10/09

Outside my window... it's a cold grey day.

I'm thinking... wow! only 4 days to go. We leave Link Care and Fresno on Saturday. It's been an interesting 8 weeks, learning lots of new things about myself, my husband and our ministry. I have a sense of readiness for the next chapter, an excitement about the possibilities for us as a family. But there's also a sadness that I have to leave this wonderful place and my wonderful friends and go back to a place where it's hard to find trustworthy people and form deep friendships. A place where alot of painful things have happened, and I don't know how I will be received. I don't know if people will take me as I am, today, and not try to put me in boxes that have worked for them in the past. I'm new. I've changed. I'm more confident and strong. How will others respond to that? If the response is negative, will I have to confidence to keep going? I think so. I hope so. This part of the journey is hard. Leaving a very safe, accepting environment, moving out into the big wide world, The Unknown. It's exciting. But also daunting.

In the kitchen... We have too much food, and are unable to consume it all by Saturday. So we'll be having lots of dinner guests this week. And I'm sure that we'll be giving alot away. Anyone want any freebies??

I'm thankful for... the way God brings things together. Sometimes we can't see how he's bringing things together, but he is always working in our favour, even when it seems like things are quite going how we want them to.

I'm Reading... Same book. And I think I have a bunch of other books to buy and take with me.

I'm hearing... a plane flying overhead... and the tap tap tapping of my friend typing next to me.

Around the house... we're packing up. Tommorrow we start cleaning and sorting what we take to FL, what we mail to Thailand and what we leave behind for others. I don't really want to think about it. The thought of leaving makes me sad. Even though I know it's the right time to move on.

One of my favourite things... when Samantha runs across the rooms, kisses and hugs me and says, "I love you, Mummy!"

Plans for the weekend... Saturday: Final cleaning and packing; driving to San Jose; and then hopefully BethAnn's play. Sunday: CCC in San Jose

Daybook 11/4/09

Outside my window... i'm looking over the very cold swimming pool. it's so inviting, yet so deceptive. i'll turn into a popsicle if i even put one toe in the water.

I'm thinking... about God's love. He gives it so freely and I find it so hard to accept it. I don't really believe the things that he says to me and about me. I know it's a cliche, but today he gave me a picture of how I interact with my kids, how I love them, protect them, how I am just so proud of them, and the concern I have for their safety and well being. I am always bragging on them, telling little stories about them, boring other parents with their achievements. And He was saying, "That's what I'm like with you. I'm always right there, ready to catch you even when you want to do it all on your own. I see all your accomplishments, and I clap and cheer; and I see when you slip and fall, and I'm there to pick you up and kiss it better." But I'm like Samantha. She doesn't want my help. She's independent and strong willed. And when she's hurt, many times she won't let me comfort her. So, that's what I'm thinking about and chewing on today.

In the kitchen... it's a week of ready made meals and the microwave is getting a workout. No more creations for a while.

I'm thankful for... babysitters.

I'm Reading... still 'Into Abba's Arms'. It's the kind of book you have to chew on and digest slowly. Stop and savour the flavour before moving on to the next bite.

I'm hearing... delighted shrieks of laughter of kids running and playing. Rice boiling over in the pot (no fancy schmancy rice cooker in this place). Static from the baby monitor.

Around the house... We have settled into the 'lived in' look. I no longer feel guilty about it. I don't have the time to keep it all spick and span, and when I do have a little time, I either use it to sleep or enjoy my kids. I have my priorities firmly in place.

One of my favourite things... I love listening to Samantha put herself to sleep.

Plans for the weekend... We're off to Lodi to visit with some old friends.

My 'First' Halloween

Saturday night was Halloween. That's a little heads up for those of you who think that October 31 is just another day. So, we got together and had some games for all the kiddos - you know, apple bobbing, donut on a string, pumpkin races, etc. Samantha is an expert at apple bobbing. She just reached in, grabbed an apple and started eating it. And 'donut on a string': piece of cake.

Samantha was a lady bug and Timothy was my little monster. They both looked so cute. At about 5:30 we all wandered out into the neighbourhood for Trick or Treating (T or T). Samantha wasn't sure what to do, as this was her T or T experience. She was a little overwhelmed at first, being the youngest in the group she was always last, but still oh so cute with her sweet little 'trick or treat' and her awesome 'thankyou'. I can never get enough of her polite demeanour.

Just as the sun was setting and the kids were reaching the peak of their sugar induced excitement, I had an epiphany. This was the very first time I'd ever gone Trick or Treating in my life! I've been to the Annual Williams Costume Party (no, it's not Halloween, we're missionaries you know!) in Chiang Mai for the last 6 or 7 years. But we don't trick or treat there. And before that, we did the harvest party at CCC in San Jose. Halloween was not celebrated in Australia when I was a kid. That may have changed by now.

So, it was lots of fun to be out on the streets with a bunch of Missionaries and Missionary kids, running from house to house with my kids, enjoying OUR first Halloween together. It was actually the first time Trick or Treating for a bunch of the kids, who have grown up in various parts of the world. So the atmosphere was charged with extra excitement and a sense of glee. Many of the Moms and Dads were commenting that they didn't remember it being so much fun.

For me, it was awesome to be able to enjoy and learn another aspect about American culture: 'Halloween ettiquite'. And Samantha held her own in a sea of pushing and shoving, coming home with a monsterous bag of loot. Timothy slept through the whole thing.

Daybook 23/10/09

Outside my window... It's California. It never changes. Chilly morning with clear blue skies, transforming into glorious t-shirt weather by 4pm.

I am thinking... I realized the other day that we leave for Thailand in about 2 months. I don't know what the next 6 weeks or so will look like. We finish up here in Fresno on November 14, and then we'll be traipsing all over the country side, leaving us about 10 days in Florida to get packed and ready to go. Not my ideal. We had planned to be in Florida by Thanksgiving. Flexibility is the order of the day. I find it harder and harder to 'stretch' as I get older.

In the Kitchen... I made a cherry cheese cake the other day. It was devine. I think I'll make brownies with Samantha over the weekend.

I'm thankful for... weekends.

I'm reading... 'Into Abba's Arms' by Sandra Wilson. One of the concepts I'm grappling with in this book is "Abandoning Grace". Basicly, in many churches we teach a grace that is temporary, that abandons us. Her analogy is that of a booster-rocket that launches you into orbit in your Christian walk (It is by Grace you have been saved), but in order to stay in orbit, you must depend more on good works and outward 'acts of righteousness' than on relationship with God. Tithing, quiet time, attending church, avoiding sin. It's easier to follow rules than to depend on God's Grace. I'm thinking about how that 'booster-rocket' concept of God's amazing Grace has effected my relationship with Jesus. Striving for perfection and holiness, working out my salvation with fear and trembling are noble and pious goals for life, but I can't do it by resting of my laurels, by trusting in my own righteousness. It can only finish well when I'm trusting in God's 'Nonabandoing Grace', His grace that gives me the power to do the right for the right reasons. Out of thankfulness for His love and mercy that is already mine, not out of a need to earn his favour again and again.

I'm hearing... a big dog barking. I think it's a German Shepard, but I can't be sure. That makes me miss my wonderful Golden Retriever, Rusty. He really was the perfect dog.

Around the house... Last week we aquired some new 'furniture' for the kids. Cool story. We went to a Thrift Store, and got a bunch of free stuff. As were were talking to the Store Manager, we mentioned we were Missionaries on home leave, and then he said, "Oh, in that case you can have everything for free." We were floored. So we got a couple of extra toys, a play gym and a chair for the kids. Timothy is alot happier now that he can sit in the kitchen with me when I'm making dinner.

One of my favourite things... Timothy's Giggles. He brightens my day when he looks at me with a big toothless grin and just starts giggling.

Plans for the weekend... I don't have plans, but I imagine Sean has something exciting up his sleeve.

Daybook 10/17/09

Outside my window... the grey overcast morning as transformed into a bright, sun shiney day.

I am thinking... about how to get my son to sleep through the night without me having to get up every couple of hours. He used to sleep really well, but in the last month he's been having problems. I know the move to CA disrupted his sleep patterns, and I after a week of sleepless nights, I just decided to start sleeping with him so I could actually get some shut eye. A four hour block of sleep is a blessing these days. I think I might simply need to continue this pattern until we get back to Florida in late November. The course here is far to intense to try other measures I might be willing to attepmt. I need a sleep doula!

In the Kitchen... I woke up this morning dreaming of Chicken Avocado Melts on Foccacia. I could taste it. So I whipped it up for lunch. Well, it took an hour to prepare, cause I had to clean up the kitchen first. And we didn't have Foccacia, so whole wheat had to surfice. Mounds of Avocado, a layer of grilled chicken, sprinkled with shredded Monterey Jack. Scrumpious. Samantha had a bite of Daddy's and spat it back out. It's a good thing I made Mac'n'Cheese for her. LOL.

I'm thankful for... 80's music and BBQ's. We had a fun time last night hanging out with the rest of the 'Restoration Community' here, swapping stories, listening to a continuous 80's mix (so glad we're all around the same age! and can appreciate it together), eating supersized steaks and lasagne.

I'm reading... still chugging through 'I have to be perfect'. And a couple of other books too.

I'm hearing... the sounds of my son soothing him self to sleep for his afternoon nap. Sleep training score: Mum 1, Baby 0 Hmmm, maybe I will be able to return to the 'dream days' of Timothy's infancy. Except, now I'm stuck in the computer lab with a sleeping baby, and I would really like a nap myself... DOH!

Around the house... aaaaahhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha! do I really want to admit it AGAIN??? I do my best, but as we speak there's toys all over the living room floor and lunchtime dishes stacked high in the kitchen, from the gormet lunch I whipped up.

One of my favourite things... Mummy and Samantha time. Dancing in the bathroom, jumping rope, hiding under the blankets, or having an indoor picnic with a blankie and a bowl of raisins.

Plans for the week... tommorrow we're visiting friends in Reedley. Still need to find baby sitters for next week. And it's just the usual. Classes and sessions, more debreifing and development, preparing for our return to Thailand in December.